A recent study revealed that Americans live shorter, less healthy lives than those in other developed countries. Between the higher infant mortality rates and violence-mostly guns and drugs, not to mention diabetes, heart disease and other obesity and/or poverty related illnesses, it wouldn't surprise me if Americans as a sub-species slowly go the way of the dinosaur unless something is done to rectify the major inequalities in the US system that leaves so many vulnerable on so many levels.
But now is not the time to discuss economics and social policy. It's time to delve deeper into the idea of dinosaur health and fitness. Is it possible that, barring that pesky asteroid that probably is the cause of dino disappearance, if they had taken better care of themselves the world would be a very different place? How would they incorporate contemporary health advice into their daily routine?
Take dental care, for example. We all know that caring for our teeth and gums is crucial to heart health (though a very small percentage of humans floss every day). Bum infections are no laughing matter. Teeth that hurt can also really impact your nutritional health. Both the Tyrannosaurus and the Brontosaurus could certainly have benefited from a good flossing. There is nothing worse than a chunk of Demandasaurus stuck between your teeth. It just sits there, rotting, promoting tooth decay. Heaven help you if your gums recede and you are reduced to drinking Stegasaurus smoothies. Do you know how hard it is to hold a glass when your arm are that short? Let alone trying to lift it to you now toothless mouth? You should have listened to your dentist, Mr. Rex. Eating him only solved your short-term needs.
Exercise seems harder to advocate in the dinosaur community. Their entire days were devoted to moving around. No couch potatoes or remote control there. Hunt and gather. Forage, forage, forage. The calories burned just out looking for the right palm tree to snack on outweigh any extra snacks you binged on along the way. However, repetitive motion breeds injury. Take the Pterodactyl. Flying around all day is totally cool. Those wings are heavy! Are you sure you are using the right muscles when flying? Your mother was always bugging you about slouching. The wings are compensating, yes, but just think about how much better you'd feel if you didn't ache at the end of the day? Free weights for you Pterry! Not only would the right series of moves strengthen your back and release all that tension you are carrying in your shoulders, you would be strengthening your bones too - reducing the chances of a life ending wing break. It's never too late to get started!
Back to Mr. Rex and other carnivores of similar build. Your little arms are so silly! Great teeth. Stupid short arms. If you just had better strength and flexibility in your hamstrings, you could bend over and pick the smaller critters off the ground. A Microceratops makes a tasty afternoon snack if you can catch one! Maybe supplement your diet with a tasty nest of Apatasaurus eggs? Alas, you haven't been to pilates. A couple of sessions on the reformer and you'll be amazed a the difference.
Luckily for all the dinosaurs, Spicy Hot Cheetos and the Carl's Jr. Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger didn't exist back then, so they didn't have to watch their sodium intake, and far be it from me to know what made a dino-stomach tick, but I'm guessing a little more fiber wouldn't have hurt the carnivores, and even the herbivores could have used some more omega-3 fatty acids in their diet. Munch on some flax Bronty! The occasional bee hive binge would certainly have elevated their sugar levels briefly, but we should let that slide. Everyone needs dessert once in a while.
And we should all focus more on our core. Whether standing on two feet or four, supporting our spines supports everything. Catch a few sit-ups when nobody's watching. You'll be better prepared for a race through the rain forest in pursuit of (or avoiding becoming) dinner.
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