Ostrich

Have you ever fed an ostrich?  

And before we get into a deep philosophical discussion about ostriches, their habits and their contributions to society, let's ponder their moniker.

Oss-tritch.  I think the "itch" part is the part that really gets me giggling.  Kind of like "twitch" or "snitch."   Say it a few times and ponder.  The other half calls it a fricative lateral.  I love linguistics!

Back to ostriches...Nasty critters.  Elegant eyelashes, and in their own way, supporters of the burlesque.  Destined to donate their feathers to rougeshly dyed boas, in teal and hot pink, and yet never to grace the stage themselves, despite their alluring necks, due in part to thier off putting feet (two VERY ungraceful toes with big, horn-like toenails/claws).  Not to say that their zaftig bodies aren't desired in the animal kingdom (specifically by other ostriches and hungry lions not afraid of being kicked by above-mentioned feet).   

I recently had the opportunity to visit OstrichLand USA in Buellton, CA, and let me tell you, the best $5 I have ever spent was on a dust-pan full of ostrich pellets and a half hour of ostrich feeding, which included, but wasn't limited too, the fear of having my fingers pecked, my eyes pecked, loosing the dust-pan itself to the aggressive beak of "Rosamunde," pondering the awesomeness of the ostrich egg (in the gift shop) and deciding that I liked emus much better than ostriches.  

Did you know that one ostrich egg is equivalent to TWO DOZEN chicken eggs?  Yikes!  I'm thinking quiche.   

So, in the end, not only is the word ostrich hilarious, ostriches themselves are pretty weird.  I always wondered how such a bizarrely shaped animal had survived the Darwinian process.  Turns out, they are just plain mean!